FLASHBANGPOP

by The Hotdog Vendors

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Get dancin'!

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released August 4, 2013

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The Hotdog Vendors Houston, Texas

Awful since 1987

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Track Name: My Poltergeist
I've got a poltergeist
It's the ghost of the girl buried under my floorboards
I didn't put her there
But try telling her that

I've got a poltergeist
It's the ghost of the girl buried under my floorboards
She haunts me everywhere I go
And you know I'm all right with that

She was buried in a letterman jacket
A deeper red than it was ever meant to be
And she rests holding the hatchet
The one that finally put her to sleep

And if you see the way she floats now
There's no way you'd ever know how
She was the victim of a homicide
Yeah she's all smiles and she's all mine

This girl is a banshee bombshell
She's as nice as a geist can be
She loves me with all her heart
Even though her heart don't got no beat

She's my little baby she's my poltergeist
She screams me to sleep each night
I wish that I could hold her tight
But when I see her dance I know that it's all right
Track Name: Final Supermarket Fantasy
I'm so fucking fat
She won't even look at me
In my cargo shorts and my ATLUS tee
She's got a cloth bag full of fruit to juice
I'm sipping on a Moutnain Dew

I'm dripping sweat from head to toe
I want her number or DS Friend Code
She looks a lot like Tifa Lockheart
Gotta hide my boner with a shopping cart

Take my big hand and let's elope
To akihibara in tokyo
We'll recite our vows in Nihon-Go
Yeah I'll be Raiden and you'll be Rose

---

If life was like my RPGs
Everything would be in Japanese
All the chicks would party with me
If life was like my RPGs

If I could level up in life
I'd grind it out just like Cloud Strife
Until I could call you my wife
We could play Xenosaga all fucking night

---

If you could heal, I'd be your tank
Send dirty tells and then go gank
We could party all night long
But keep it down don't wake my mom

---

If life was like my RPGs
Everything would be in Japanese
All the chicks would party with me
If life was like my RPGs

If I could level up in life
I'd grind it out just like Cloud Strife
Until I could call you my wife
We could play Disgaea all fucking night

If I was Squall you'd be my girl
We'd take the Ragnarok for a whirl
But real life's here in Aisle 3
Where you're intentionally avoiding me

If I was Squall you'd be my girl
We'd take the Ragnarok for a whirl
But real life's here in Aisle 3
Where you just called security on me
Track Name: Wolf Girl
I met her at Furry Con '09
She had a wolf shirt on it was just like mine
We hit it off and took a nice full moonlit stroll
That night in the lunar light my heart she stole

She changed right before my very eyes
I was gonna be her brunch I soon realized
But I didn't runaway or mess my pants
I extended my hand and asked if she would dance

Dance with me in the full moon light
She danced with me and it was love at first bite
That night I fell for a wolf girl
You would too if you could dance with her

She made me dizzy with her moves and her swinging hips
And we got busy to a groove she called the Beggin Strip
Nothing mattered but the moon and the two of us
It was a wild night, the night she fell in love

Love with me in the full moon light
She danced with me and it was love at first bite
That night I fell for a wolf girl
You would too if you could dance with her

WOLF GIRL
WOLF GIRL
BE MINE TONIGHT IN THE FULL MOONLIGHT
WOLF GIRL
WOLF GIRL
BUCKLE UP WE'RE GOING FOR A RIDE
WOLF GIRL
WOLF GIRL
BE MINE TONIGHT IN THE FULL MOONLIGHT
WOLF GIRL
WOLF GIRL
THE TWO OF US AND ONE WILD NIGHT

Dance with me in the full moon light
She danced with me and it was love at first bite
That night I fell for a wolf girl
You would too if you could dance with her

She turned the woods into a dance floor
Then proceeded to dance dirty down on all fours
That's right I fell for a wolf girl
No it wasn't a fling it was something more
Track Name: Ramones Ringtone
I don't wanna hangout with you
So why you keep calling my phone?
I ain't gonna answer you
So why don't you leave me alone?
Stop calling my phone, stop calling me.
Stop calling my phone bothering me.
Stop calling my phone whoa-oh-oh-oh,
At least I got a Ramones ringtone.
---
I ain't taking no calls today.
Not even my mom. No way, Jose.
I don't know why you call.
I don't know why you try at all.

I don't mind Do You Wanna Dance on repeat.
Better than whatever you gotta say to me.
That's right I'm screening my calls.
I don't know why you try at all.
---
I don't wanna hangout with you
So why you keep calling my phone?
I ain't gonna answer you
So why don't you leave me alone?
Stop calling my phone, stop calling me.
Stop calling my phone bothering me.
Stop calling my phone whoa-oh-oh-oh,
At least I got a Ramones ringtone.
---
Hey! Ho! Stop calling my phone.
Take a fucking hint and leave me alone.
All in all 27 missed calls.
I don't know why you try at all.

I got S.L.U.G. on repeat.
Better than whatever you gotta say to me.
That's right I'm screening my calls.
I don't know why you try at all.
Track Name: Nice LEGOs
I was 13 and I dunno why
You were standing outside my room that night
I was dumb struck I didn't know what to say
But you laughed at my LEGOs then you walked away

I didn't buy them for you
I didn't invite you into my room
But there you were with all your fucking friends
Looking like a dream while mine came to an end.

Oh Whitney Chandler why were you in my hallway in the first place?
At a party that my brothers threw they didn't want me there but they wanted you.
Oh Whitney Chandler why did you have to look at me with that face?
I know that I was young I know it's over now, but I can still hear the words coming out of your mouth:

Nice LEGOs
Nice LEGOs

She walked past as I stood there
Then she laughed and laughed all the way downstairs

Whitney stood outside my room
Then left my life with a sonic boom
Track Name: Old Man Morgan
At night on a Friday at the cemetery
Our friend Aurthur told some very scary stories
I don't think any of us will ever go back
Because that night we were attacked by a ghost

We were drinking and laughing at the grave of Morgan
Didn't know the whole time we were pissing off the ghost of Morgan
Civil War vet anger reached across the veil
And tried to drag our drunk asses to Hell

Travis ran and I caught up
Aurthur didn't have nearly as good of luck
His neck was throttled by the ghost of an old man
He died that night with a beer bottle in hand

At the stroke of Midnight, Morgan stalks his usual haunt
The souls of sinning teenagers is what he truly wants
In life he fought wearing Confederate Grey
And in death he dons the uniform to defend his grave

Old Man Morgan's grave is shrouded in the myst
Old Man Morgan don't take no shit from kids
Old Man Morgan murdered one of my best friends
Old Man Morgan's gonna fucking pay for this
Track Name: Jettison the Girl
There's desperation in your eyes
I see the FTL drive won't light
Well ease down town, baby
Yeah ease down cause I gotta plan yeah

It might be something hard to grasp
But take a second baby just kick back
This could save you 5 lightyears
But you gotta let go let go and

Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
It'll be all right

Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
Jettison her tonight

You know deep down that dame's dead weight
She gotta go so better soon than late
I pray that you got the wherewithal
I pray you make the right call and

Do the thing that you fear worst for you
If only you could see it like I do
You'd push that button in a heartbeat
Don't hesitate, breathe, wait then

Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
It'll be all right

Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
Jettison the girl
Jettison her tonight

There's desperation in your eyes
I see the FTL drive won't light
Well ease down town, baby
Yeah ease down cause I gotta plan yeah

It might be something hard to grasp
But take a second baby just kick back
This could save you 5 lightyears
So pop the airlocks and let her go
Track Name: LPHS Prom Night
You're on your way to the dance but
I'm stuck here at the hotdog stand
You told me to hold the slaw
But I just wanna hold your hand

Unlike your friends girl, you're not rude
Don't leave me here I wanna leave with you
No I don't wanna know how this night ends
It's me and my truck and you're out dancing
---
I want her to know
That I really want her so bad
I want her to know
That I really want her so bad

But I can't say a word
Just the thought of it is absurd
But I can't keep her outta my mind
Keep her outta my mind
---
You're on your way to the dance but
I'm stuck here at the hotdog stand
You told me to hold the slaw
But I just wanna hold your hand

Unlike your friends girl, you're not rude
Don't leave me here I wanna leave with you
No I don't wanna know how this night ends
While I'll be workin, you'll be twerkin
---
I want her to know
That I really want her so bad
I want her to know
That I really want her so bad

But I can't say a word
Just the thought of it is absurd
But I can't keep her outta my mind
Keep her outta my mind

They say she's outta my league
Well if that's the case, I'm quittin my team
And overnight shipping my resume to hers